Catch and Release

I am currently reading, "Same Kind of Different As Me" by Ron Hall and Denver Moore. I am hesitant to write about a book that I've not finished, but I feel compelled to comment on a couple of paragraphs that have made me ponder for the past couple of days.

I, by no means, want to give the story away. It is a wonderful, true story so please read it for yourself. However, in one part, Denver and Ron are talking about fishing. Denver, a black man, ask Ron, a white man, about the practice of "catch and release" fishing. Denver is confused by the practice. He can't comprehend that you might fish all day just to release the fish back into the water.

He says, "That really bothers me, I can't figure it out. Cause when colored folks go fishin, we really proud of what we catch, and we take it and show it off to everybody that'll look. Then we eat what we catch...in other words, we use it to sustain us. So it really bothers me that white folks would go to all that trouble to catch a fish, then when they done caught it, just throw it back in the water."

This paragraph comes during a conversation about friendship. Denver ask Ron what he wants from him. Ron replies, "a friend." Then Denver relays the above paragraph and then goes on to say, "So , Mr. Ron it occurred to me: If you is fishin for a friend you just gon' catch and release, then I ain't got no desire to be your friend. ... But if you is lookin for a real friend, then I'll be one Forever."

This exchange really struck me. Over the past couple of days, it has laid heavy upon my heart. I tend to be a forever kind of girl. I like things to be the way that they are. I'm not a big list maker, but when I do make a list I want to check things off and have them checked off.

1. Get married...done
2. Have children...done
3. Make friends...done
4. Have a career...done
5. Buy clothes...done
6. Decorate the house...done
7. Buy some nice jewelry...done

Now I know that somethings you have to continually do, but somethings should be permanently checked off of the list. I'm not a huge shopper. Staying up with the styles and constantly shopping, makes me tired. I have other things to do. I'm more of a relationship kind of person.

Todd, on the other hand, likes to talk about "seasons." Interesting? Seasons for different clothes, maybe seasons for different careers, hopefully not seasons for different spouses, certainly seasons with you children...but seasons for your friends?

In Ecclesiastes, Solomon writes about "seasons" or "times." For everything he mentions, there is a time for the opposite... a positive and a negative...I'm not terribly fond of that, but who is? No one wants to suffer or even be slightly uncomfortable. Yet, God tells us that it is going to happen.

To get back to the story, Denver talks about "fishin' for friends." Jesus talks about "fishin' for men" Denver and Jesus have something in common, both of them are "fishn'" for keeps.

There is one thing that can be counted upon in life and that is God. He is constant and true. The same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He is "fishin'" for each of us and once He catches us, He is not going to let us go.

So we can weather all seasons, positive and negative, with God!

A Christmas Story

I know that the title of this blog is "A Christmas Story." I also know that today is Wednesday, January 7, well after December 25 and all things Christmas. However, this blog began in my mind during the Christmas season and continues to grow so I feel the need to write it. Hang with me and I hope you'll find that it is not only "A Christmas Story, " but a story for a lifetime.

The Christmas story always makes me think. We grow up knowing about Mary and Joseph. How they traveled to the town of Bethlehem to be counted. That they traveled many miles on dusty roads with a donkey only to find that there was no room in the inn. The inn keeper offered them the only space that he had left which was a stable. While in that stable Mary gave birth to her first child and they called him, Jesus. Jesus is the son of God. The heavenly host sang and Mary lay Jesus in a manger. The shepherds came to see the new born king. The Magi brought gifts and Mary pondered these things in her heart.

Most everyone knows this story. Believers and non-believers alike have heard the story. Many of us have participated in or watched children reenact this heart warming story every Christmas. Our preschool puts on a Christmas pageant every year. Girls and mommas anxiously wait to see who will be chosen to play Mary or Gabriel (He's always played by a girl). Boys and mommas look forward to finding out who will play Joseph, the Shepard's, or the wise men. Everyone gets a part in the pageant. Those that don't play the lead will be townspeople.

I've always held Mary in high esteem. She is the mother of Jesus who happens to be the son of God. She fond favor with God is what the angel told her. How cool to be told audibly that you've found favor with God. It was not until I got older and then became a mother myself did I really begin to think about Mary. What it must have been like to be in her early teens, engaged to be married, a good Jewish girl with her whole life ahead of her then wham a glitch in the plan. A great glitch from the "finding favor with God" aspect, but a glitch none the less. She had to tell her fiance, her friends, and let's not forget her parents that she is "with God's child."

We all know the end of the story, so it seems sweet and wonderful even miraculous. But most of those people didn't live to see the end of the story or even know it for real. Those who did live to see the end of Mary's story or Jesus' story do you think that they said, "And they lived happily ever after?" I don't think so.

How many of us mothers want our daughters to actually live Mary's life?...or want our son's to live Joseph's life? We want them to play them in the pageant but not in real life. We don't want glitches in the plans that we've made. The role of the townspeople is looking pretty good, just a bystander.

All of this thinking about Mary and her story and Jesus and his story made me think about my story and your story. The truth is that we all have a story. Some of our stories seem better than others. You can almost always find someone with a story worse than yours or better than yours, but the stories aren't through.

The important thing to remember is that everyone has a story. All of our stories have the same author. He begins our story and then He let's us have it. (Free will) We can decide to give it back to Him or make a go of it on our own, but we've all tried to write a few chapters ourselves. Once you realize that He is a better author than you are, then try to remember that everyone you come in contact with has a story. You don't know the whole story. You only know a snippet. The author maybe using you as a pivotal character, a bystander or an evil villain.

What part do you play in the store clerk's story, the waiter's story, the single mother's story, the naughty child's story, the grouchy church lady's story or the homeless family's story? What part do you want to play? Ask the Author. I'm sure that He has something in mind for you.

Family

The day after Thanksgiving, "Family" seems a very appropriate topic to blog about. I know that holidays bring about time with family. Many dread the holiday for days leading up to the event. Some anticipate what could happen at the gathering. Often based on prior events so the anticipation is often correct. Others avoid the event by being physically present, but mentally or emotionally absent. While yet a few don't participate in the family holiday at all.

What is it about gathering with our families that can cause such anxiety? Is it our expectations? Is it others expectations of us that we have failed to meet? Is it lack of relationships with these people that we are supposed to be connected with in some form or fashion? Is it the elephant in the room that no one is willing to talk about?

As I have thought over this topic during the last few days, I came to a conclusion. Our families, individually, are very much like God's family, collectively. We are all individuals with only one true thing in common. In our individual families, it is that we happened to be born or adopted into a particular group of people. You may have other bonds like: similar physical features, common interest, or you may all live in the same town. But you are family for only one real reason and you love each other because of that reason. I've even heard of people not particularly liking their family members,but stilling loving them because the are family.

God's family is much the same way. It is made up of all kinds of people. Some of them with common interest and goals; some with absolutely nothing in common except for the one REAL reason. The real reason being their acceptance of Jesus Christ as God's one and only son who died for the redemption of their sins.

Heaven is going to be one BIG family gathering with all of the family members present. If there is some reason that we don't enjoy family gatherings here on earth, we might need to take time to figure out why. There will be people in heaven that we have one and only one thing in common with and that is going to be enough.

Before Christmas comes, let's ponder what it is about the family gatherings that make us uncomfortable. Then see if we can't choose to approach the next family gathering with excitement. The excitement of those who are gathering with God's children.

Trying my hand at bloggin'

After becoming a fan of several blogs, I have decided to try my hand at my own blog. I'm not sure what I'm doing but I'm going to try.

I'll start with the name of the blog, "Can't buy diamonds in a Jiffy store." This is one of life's lessons that has taken me a long time to grasp and still haven't mastered. As many people do, I have expectations. Sometimes my expectations are reasonable and sometimes they are very far from reasonable. Reasonable expectations are: if you put a stamp on a letter along with a proper address and put it in the mail box, it will get to its destination; if you go to a shoe store, you will probably find a pair or more of shoes that you like. Unreasonable expectations are: wanting tofu to taste like food, expecting your children to never have to be reminded of their chores, or that people will always agree with you or be honest when they don't.

The problem with unreasonable expectations doesn't lie in the person or thing that the expectation is being placed on. The problem lies with the one who is expecting. I've not had to lower my expectations or stop expecting, but I've had to make them reasonable. Tofu is never going to taste like apple pie unless you add apples, sugar, and pie crust. It still may not taste like apple pie, but it will be closer than tofu all alone. Children may never do all of their chores without being reminded, but you can give them tools to help them become more responsible. Giving them a chore chart with stickers that helps them visually keep track of their jobs and paying on a commission per completed chore basis will motivate them to complete their task.

As for people, that is not so easily solved. I can only speak from my experiences. If you expect honesty, you must first give it and be prepared for it not to be received. You must also decide if you want honesty or agreement. Everyone who is honest with you will probably not agree with you. Some people are not honest with themselves so they are certainly not capable of being honest with you.

If you are lucky, you will be given a hand full of people in your life time with whom you can be honest and will be honest with you. These are called, "friends." They are gifts from God. They are his ambassadors with skin. Treasure them like the finest riches and purest gold. You won't have many but the one's you get will be priceless.

The deal is you won't find them in a Jiffy store. You can find some really good stuff in a Jiffy store...candy bars, diet coke in a can, bug juice, gas, even a loaf of bread if you are in a hurry. All of those things are wonderful and very necessary in life, however they are not as rare and special as a diamond. A diamond that can only be found in a jewelry store. So don't get mad at the Jiffy store when you can't find the diamond that you were looking for. Be happy with what the Jiffy store has to offer and don't go in expecting to find a diamond.